A Small Collection of the Most Hilarious Comments on Fragrance Weaned off the Net

pic borrowed from here re: American Horror Story 

"It smells like spoiled rotten eggnog. The vanilla is nauseating. If I smelled this on another person, I would think that person was trying to cover the stink of an open necrotic abscessing wound by spreading spoiled vanilla cake icing on top of the wound." (OldSchoolCharm hates Musc Ravageur on Basenotes)

"A sweet ambery woody oriental that stays on your skin for at least 6-7 hrs and makes you go nasty and touch yourself. Amazing stuff. (Sneakersitch loves Profumi del Forte Versilia Vintage/Ambre Mediterranea on Basenotes)

"Hooker eating a burrito" (Serpent on Kingdom by Alexander McQueen on Perfume of Life)

"Fragrance reviews are silly. Fragrance marketing is even sillier." (from styleite.com and what makes it so funny is that it's so horrifyingly true)

"Have you rolled in gunpowder? What is it you are smelling of?" he said with an air of surprised distaste. This is what my tender 14 year old years met with one memorable afternoon as I was decked to the nines to go play at a piano concert organized by the Conservatoire. The delivering agent of the comment that would apparently shutter my childlike innocence was my own beloved father as we were entering the car, off to a -not so good- start to the concert in question. Flubberbusted and quite self-conscious for the rest of the afternoon (of which I have little recollection otherwise) I was rolling the info I had on the  innocuous Anais Anais by Cacharel I had just sprayed on in the back corridor of my mind. 

Turns out the real culprit was...Normaderm sulfur-containing ointment on my forehead. (The entire story is recounted HERE). 

"I think the weirdest comment I got was that I smelled like Poison Ivy (from Batman)- that was the guy's association. I was wearing Paestum Rose which I do find a bit toxic. ;) " (reader Ines on this blog)

"The perfume that smells like baby wipes is Park Avenue. It really smells like baby wipes and it has a gentle smell that babies love so they don't cry and do not fear it." (via answers.com)

'Like a vintage boudoir with old pants strewn over the floor' (for Infusion d'Iris, of all things, as mentioned by one of our anonymous readers) 😮

"I bought Guerlain's Mitsouko because I loved LT's review of it. He referred to it as a desert island scent! My husband agrees. He says it is the perfect desert island scent because it smells like bug spray. (our reader Amy Barry)"

"When my son was about three, he often said my perfume smelled "like vegetables." He meant it as a compliment!" 😁 (another reader called Amy)

"The one that puzzled me was "your intelligentsia-style perfumes" - that about my wood-amber-based mass-lux set of Eau des merveilles, Samsara, Sensuous, Prada's L'eau ambrée and Tom Ford's Amber Absolute (which was the immediate cause of the comment!) a bit diluted with Herba Fresca and Tocca's Cleopatra. Not something I would associate with intelligentsia, but well." (PerfumeShrine reader)

If you have come across more of that ilk, please add them in the comments!