In Which I Fragrance Consult

I don't mean professionally this time (although it has been done); this is about a spontaneous and completely monetarily-disassociated consultation with a young woman I casually met at Sephora. (Contrary to my uncanny instincts and my hard-earned experience I continue to do this sort of thing when I see an aimlessly wandering soul amidst the aisles of department stores: When will I learn??) But it's a fun little story and worth mentioning in detail to illustrate a point or two.

Sephora happened to have a 20% sale for select VIP (?) customers and yours truly was invited through a post-office delivered mail:"Only for you and only for two days, everything 20% off, blah blah blah". My default question on examining such a proposition up close is "What ISN'T discounted?" I reckon eliminating all the non-possibilities makes for an easier list than trying to retain all the discounted brands info. The one brand that features on each and every one of those "Isn't-on-sale-despite-all-others-being-so" lists is Chanel (along with -brace yourselves- Mugler and Miyake: I attribute the latter two to the extreme popularity of their bestselling perfumes in my local European market). This time the reply from the SA was rather suprising; and probably borne out of a meaningful roundtable discussion concerning the economic recession and the repurcussions on the average Sephora-maniac's purchases at some central branch office of the esteemed firm. "EVERYTHING is discounted at 20% for you, EVEN Chanel!" she emphasized. Hmm...it was getting rather interesting!

Intent as I was on securing any batch of older Chanel's fragrances I could find still tucked away in some of those deeeeeeep drawers full of old stock they have at Sephora I came across her: She was a slip of a girl, a very young woman in her early 20s, skin to paint a Boticelli with, natural honeyed curls in a messy cute updo, casual attire that showed some care (a military pair of trousers with a neat, khahi T-shirt and a nice white denim jacket on top). The "wall" of Chanels above me loooked particularly enticing to her and I don't really know whether the VIP invitation reverberated in her pocket as well with the dire command "use me for something good!" or not, but she seemed intent on finding a Chanel for herself. Usually I don't really pay attention and I only notice such things as an inward nod to the power of successful marketing. Someone who is obviously ignorant of how things smell at Chanel, is clearly being led by her eyes, not her nose...This time was different, though and I was soon to find out how.

Spraying a bit of Chanel No.19 on those paper strips, she instantly exclaimed "Ewww, that's AWFUL!" with such passion in her grimace that it was hard not to take notice from 10 paces away. I feel such occurences literally beg to be addressed (and not just because I love No.19 to bits) if only to show what a profound difference the whole testing experience makes when one actually tests things the proper way. So lo and behold I stretched my crouching self and replied confidentially "Oh no, that's their very best" with a tone that implied I was at the very least sharing Pentagon secrets. It was completely understandable that she belonged to a generation who had been raised on Light Blue and Burberry Brit, while her mother would be probably still wearing L'eau d'Issey, so embarking on a diatribe on the matter of good taste or art would be sorely wasted; plus it was plainfully obvious No.19 was as completely alien as if she was given to taste Pluto-dust-laced dirt-balls. After all, I don't believe good taste is a generational thing and art is too often non quantitative. So I chose not to embark on such diatribe.
Apparently the trick of laconic pronouncement caught on: She paid attention and looked at me with quizzical eyes. "You just need to give it lots of time on the skin to mellow out the bitter start, it becomes very sensuous...", I quipped with almost a wink. Thus appeased she showed some signs of recognition of someone who really appreciates perfume.

Confidences then gust forth with all the gusto of Perfumistae Anonymous. She was emotionally tied to Bulgari Omnia Amethyste (I'm afraid she got a blank stare from me at this profound confession despite my best effort to look deeply engaged), but she was "so bored with all the perfumes on the shelves", she liked to change perfumes all the time, never sticking with anything for long because "they often got on her nerves". Clearly the customers are not complete morons, do note, dear perfume companies; by the end of a bottle of current juice they come to realise just how bad and utterly trite it was, not wanting to replenish ever again!

Sensing she was desperate for iconic black-and-white austerity, bearing cross-stiched glamour CCs (aka Chanel) I suggested Cristalle Eau de Toilette (this is usually a perennial safe bet on blind tests I conduct with friends from time to time; no one seems to hate it) , as well as hastily suggesting No.5 Eau Premiere, when I saw her tentatively reaching out for that bottle of No.5 Eau de Parfum. (I swear I didn't want to embark on that "old lady" conversation this time, I have heard arguments from both sides so many times and I disagree with each and every one of them). My recs rested on two salient -in my humble opinion- points: 1) Summer is coming and 2) Modern tastes like lighter juices. "This is quite modern, young, optimistic", I said. Although she showed signs of mild interest, I couldn't see her too impressed by either and she did test on skin this time. I fear that teenagers and people in their early 20s have been sadly conditionned to expect instant gratification that surpasses even the speed of making an instant Nescafe (that is nanoseconds to pour cold water on the granules, btw)! How low can you go, right?

Still, as a dare, I suggested Lolita Lempicka L Fleur de Corail, a floriental variation of the original and lovely salty-sweet L de Lempicka, which nevertheless left me rather cold personally, but which I could use as a litmus test regarding sweet-teeth-factor. I even mentioned how it is a "gourmand" with a nod to gustatory delights. Foody is a big word with very young people judging by what they buy and I was honestly curious to see if her tastes ran to the sweet-and-fatty despite her lithe physique. Apparently, there's hope yet. With a disenchanted look she dismissed it as "too sweet for her", almost apologetically, changing stance however when her eyes lighted up upon recalling "But I adore Lolita Lempicka in the purple, apple-shped bottle for the winter!". Brava Annick Menardo, I inwardly thought, but time was ticking away for me and we left it at that.

She didn't seem like she found the Chanel she was looking for on that day. But I came out feeling that young women are not complete airheads and just because they don't know how to properly test fragrances (and who is there to teach them anyway?) and they often can't seem to find a Chanel to claim as their own, doesn't mean they should be relegated to wearing something by Paris Hilton. Perfume people, present them with something really good to wear for a change!

Emma Watchon photographed by Karl Lagerfeld from Crash magazine. Photo by Steven Meisel (2007) via fashionmag.com

Suck it, you bitch!

Regular Perfume Shriners will be a little shocked by this undoubtedly vulgar display of bold title and accompanying advertising image, but not really surprised as they have come to expect some scathing commentary on fragrance advertising on numerous occassions in the past, recent and not so recent (Click here for part1, part2, part3, part4, part5).
So the news is mr.Ford is issuing a masculine sidekick to his Black Orchid for women scent this season called Tom Ford for Men and the advertising comprises the image above.

I know, I know...It is no secret that mr.Ford has been playing the "sex sells" card again. This is the only adage he has been exploiting for quite some time now. In fact as long as I can remember his pretty mug entering my consciousness. Mr.Ford had been exploiting a subtler aproach while at Yves Saint Laurent, although one would be hard pressed not to admit that it somehow clashed with the extraordinarily chic facade of the venerable house, a fact that brought him into direct confrontation with mr. Saint Laurent himself (the latter with genuine Gallic nonchalance selling his House and retiring, thus admiting there is little chic in today's designing world).

And yet one cannot find major fault with the images of the advertisements for Yves Saint Laurent perfumes while mr.Ford was in charge. From the infamous print ad for the masculine M7 which depicts an uncircumsized hairy male in all his nude glory (click here for a pic) to the daring suggestion of a menage a trois in the Paris ads ~which for a nano-second made me look upon this fragrance with quite a different eye (shame on me!)~, his stint at Saint Laurent was characterised by an aesthetic that was bold, daring but rather tasteful albeit in a Hollywood-sort-of-way.

The porcelain nude skin of Sophie Dahl for Opium stands among the most memorable ones and this one for Nu eau de toilette featuring director Roman Polanski's wife, french actress Emmanuelle Seigner, from 2003 is among the ones I personally find quite alluring. Of course Emmanuelle Seigner does have the heavy features that denote some sort of vulgar carnality that helps make her compelling despite her lack of serious talent in such films as Bitter Moon and The Ninth Gate. Still, the entanglement of bodies in amorous embrace in the print ad captures my fancy and makes me dream a little.
Which is not what the new ad for Tom Ford for Men does. And not for prudish reasons either.

Amorous couples in passionate embrace have always been at the heart of perfume advertising, since seduction we are led to believe is at the core of perfume wearing. Of course this is not always so and perfume lovers who appreciate perfume as an art form would have serious disagreement with this; however from a mass market point of view ~which marketeers aim at in the first place anyway~ this is true. Dolce & Gabanna accomplished this admirably in a series of advertising images that encompass both taste and passion and of which the accompanying image is my personal favourite.

It seems to me that mr.Ford has taken the place of sexual provocateur that Calvin Klein used to be in the 1980s, although with a much more agressive stance and ~dare I say it?~ less modesty and self-constraint. The above might seem ironic for someone who built a reputation for racy ads such as this one for his scent Obsession in 1988.
Simply put, the current ad for Tom Ford for Men lacks taste. But what is even more interesting is that it also lacks sexiness. That elusive quality that an image which possesses it makes you look, look away and then look again with renewed interest, much like a really intriguing woman on the street would have you double-checking instead of ogling at her openly displayed attributes. The supposedly orgasmic O of the red lips as a signal of availability, the distorted shape of the breasts with the talons painted in red holding them tight for a titty-fuck, the dominance of male over female in a position that reminds one of a porn flick: all these things debase the previous aesthetic of Ford efforts into the realm of the basest shock value attempts at capturing the interest of people by getting banned from major magazines. And this is coming from someone who wouldn't venture into what he is showing everyone else, due to his own sexual preferences. So, is this choice a deliberate attempt at a new form of exclusivity? In accordance to his Private Line of perfumes which supposesdly target a more daring audience? This is something for mr.Ford to answer and we can only speculate. I am trembling at the thought of what he might conceive next!

For the purpose of aimless exercise and because there is such a thing as collective memory, let's witness some sexy advertsing images that do not usually get mentioned. The following two are for the classic scent Ma Griffe(=my talon/my signature),

proving that older advertsing isn't necessarily less sexy or daring and the other one is from Lacoste pour homme which depicts a fetching specimen with a Y chromosome aimed at the discerning women that account for more than 70% of the sales of men's scents anyway.

But I guess mr.Ford missed that little factoid. On the other hand, as he is indeed a brilliant marketeer (as attested by his success so far) he might be privy to some information of greater magnitude, so I am keeping my mouth shut on more comments for now. Which is more than I can say for the woman in the ad!

Last but not least, he could have gone for the highly camp effect which would have earned him humorous brownie points, such as this one for Centaur Cologne. There, that's so much better!

Pics courtesy of wwd, okadi, imagesdesparfums and psine.net