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The high divorce rate in Terengganu (attributed to "body odour, humdrum sex and boring pyjamas") is prompting the local government into approaching big firms to come up with “exotic and sensuous fragrances that can arouse sexual desire.” Mary Schneider on TheStar.com argues that companies surely have been going that exact same route for ages; and that perfume doesn't really change anything in a relationship that has communication or stagnation problems. Does it? Be vocal with your stories!!Read the whole article on this link on The Star.com.
Pic of Sean Connery and Daniella Bianchi from From Russia with Love via virginmedia.
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If both partners smell good that certainly helps bringing them closer (physically) but I learned from my experience that nothing helps more than honest conversation (not too honest though - when talking to men, there are some things one should better skip, their egos are fragile). :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, sharing minds in my opinion brings people closer than sharing bodies. Smelling good is an added bonus in both cases.
Hmm.... all good scent (on the ex) ended up doing in my case was to leave me with an unpleasant association with that particular scent. Personally, I think these talk show-self help book-type of fixes: make overs, new perfume, sexy clothing, etc. are only superficial and do nothing to address the underlying problems in a relationship. You've got to do the inner work, no getting around it!
ReplyDelete"body odour, humdrum sex and boring pyjamas" LOL! Oh yes a sexy perfume can do so much for the love life.... I pray for these people that they find a good one :)
ReplyDeleteNo, a relationship with "communication and stagnation" problems can't be helped by sexy perfume, or lingerie, for that matter. Communication issues require better communication to fix and stagnation issues require imagination. If a particular scent sparks someone's imagination towards a more creative sex life, then of course that is helpful in the stagnation department. Alas, the scent will likely be different for every individual and therefore hard to bottle.
ReplyDeleteThat said, bad smells can certainly result in stagnated sex life. And although likes and dislikes are personal, some bad smells are universal (never heard of anyone swooning, in a good way, over their partner's halitosis). On a more personal note, although my SO and I might smell very attractive to each other, if we do not have time to act on the impulse then not much has come of those sexy scents (ooops, was that a dirty pun?! tee hee)
Natalia
Bad smells, so far as I know, can be dealt with as a hygiene or a health issue, and no Love Potion No. 9 in my experience will ever rekindle a flame that died from a lack of communication or imagination.
ReplyDeleteBe that as it may, I've been lucky enough to find my own sure-fire perfume winners in the seduction stakes. The ones that never - unlike not a few lovers - let me down, the ones that gave me nights to remember, and the nights I'll remember many, many years from now. Seduction in a bottle - and they were powerless to resist!
That's at least one good reason why we ladies do what we do, ne c'est pas? And as good a reason as any!
My own Seduction Hall of Fame perfumes are Lancome's "Magie Noir" (original, and I was thrilled to see it as the ultimate Halloween perfume, which it is!), and Grès' "Cabochard", also the original formulation. Never met many men who did not go crazy over either of them, because they really do define the term "sexy as sin!"
Strangely enough, I recently bought a bell jar full of Serge Lutens' "Fleurs d'Oranger", for no other reason than to me, it was the ultimate scent of happiness and joy, only to discover that it knocks my husband sideways in all the right and horizontal ways!
Which makes me wonder what "Tubereuse Criminelle" might be capable of...or I might be capable of when I wear it!
Watch out, world! ;-)
Hygiene is nice ;-)
ReplyDeleteCommunication, too ;-)
Do the WORK, people...
Relationships don't 'make' themselves.
Sillies.
Indes,
ReplyDeleteah...but where do you draw the line behind honesty and not too much honesty? :-) There lies the rub...
(And to bring it to full circle, how about telling them they smell bad? Would it help or alienate?)
The vicious circle of romantic relationships!
D,
ReplyDeleteyou certainly have a point. However people are generally attuned to "magic pill" solutions, from obesity and alopecia to more intricate psychological issues. Seems like the "quick fix" industry would always find ways to con us, dont' you think?
(I am thinking of that ridiculous concept of 'the scent that makes you "look" younger': I mean, geez)
J,
ReplyDeletetrust you to take this lightly and humourously! Yup, should be a pretty successful one to address all those problems! LOL
And you'd think that something as compleely free as simply banishing the pyjamas should do wonders: why not surprise your partner au naturel?!
N,
ReplyDeleteperfect analysis!
I think people generally become bored after some time and it's natural to a degree to not want to impress as much as when you were first flirting. Still, a little sense of mystery, a little sense of "not wanting to reveal everything" does stir the imagination, no? If a new scent or an old scent revisited help in that department, it might help a little bit. But nothing miraculous and you'd have to "accesorize" that with a scenario or some role-playing, I'd think.
I haven't heard of halitosis being particularly attractive to anyone either! On the other hand a popular (house) cleanser was advertised exactly as the perfect combatant of that condition: it's a case which would require a "fragrance history" post, I presume, so I am saving it up for another day ;-)
T,
ReplyDeleteabsolutely inspiring: especially the "knocks my husband sideways in all the right and horizontal ways!" Now there's a scent recommendation. It helps that FdO is such a magnificent scent too! (Love it dearly, even though the ones who fell madly in love with me were the bees on one occassion!!)
And of course your other two fragrant choices are indeed "sexy as sin": it should take a confident person to carry them off right, so I guess it's a little bit of both worlds doing the work ;-)
Ida,
ReplyDeleteI always wonder why most people don't realise that indeed work is supposed to be going on in romantic relationships too. We work on so many aspects of our lives, why not on that most important one as well???
I guess the (fatal) tale of "if you find your perfect soulmate everything will click right into place" is misleading many. People are human and they're not always perfect...
Late to the party but...what perfume does for my relationship is make me feel sexier, more alluring, and I find that that energy is communicated to others, giving me back a boost of same, which helps the relationship. Of course, nothing beats open-ness, and the work of staying together.
ReplyDeleteChris Rock, of all people, said it best IMHO: "if you're ____ing, everything's ok. If you're not, it's not."
So important not to turn into roommates. They just tend to irritate one another after awhile. I suspect that this is the real reason for all those old couples you see that just seem to hate each other.
I've been thinking about this question-- I have the opinion that you connect eroticism with whatever scent you were wearing when you were first in love and extremely passionate. I don't think any perfume has the power to stand in for that early feeling.
ReplyDeletePut another way, whatever you smelled when you were first falling in love (or having a lot of sex, however you want to put it) has the power to transport you back to that place in time. However, a NEW scent doesn't have the power to put you back there with your oh-so-familiar spouse.
The scent can evoke the memory of desire, not desire itself. Just my opinion.
Rita @leftcoastnose
P,
ReplyDeleteyou're absolutely right! It's all about confidence I'd say. What we feel gets translated as how we're seen.
Alas, roommates is too bad...
R,
ReplyDeletenow there's a very interesting thought! You put it extremely well and I hadn't connected it in so simple yet lucid terms myself. This is exactly why a new scent isn't the magic weapon to rekindle one's romantic life. How could they not think about it at the fragrance companies? (but then again it wouldn't be to their advantage, would it)
Thanks again!